Friday, 26 October 2012

The Power Of Heartbreak

There's a reason that people say that love is the most powerful force on Earth. People live for it, die for it, and do things that they never thought physically possible for it. Love can send us soaring toward rosie-colored horizons one day, and leave us dragging our wounded bellies along cold, hard rocks the next. One thing is for certain, love can teach us a lot about ourselves, and, also, heartbreak is heartbreak, and it always feels the same, every time.

Researchers have found that brain actually interprets heartbreak as a physical pain, much akin to holding a paper cup full of scalding hot coffee without the protective sleeve. Hold that coffee cup for days, weeks, months on end, and it can definitely do some damage. The experts also say that taking NSAIDS may help alleviate some of that heartbreak pain, but the only real healer is time.

The pain from heartbreak can be crushing. Some people can brush it off and pretend it's not happening. Other people (like me) have to wallow in the melty warmth of the depths of my sorrow and get all introspective for months until I come out and am reborn an even stronger person than I was before. At the end of every relationship, I look at myself in the mirror and say, "Well, here we are again, just you and me, going it alone," and I feel like a warrior. I paint my cheeks in tears and I wail and wail before I start my journey to find that stronger, wiser person.

Love's purpose is sometimes to tear you down so that you can rebuild yourself into a better human being. It is nature. Like nature, it is not always kind, but it teaches you to survive. It points you toward the way that you're supposed to grow by pointing out what is flawed in you. Love exposes all of your weaknesses, all of your strengths, all of your strengths that are also weaknesses.

Breakups are rarely even for both sides. When most relationships end, there seems at first to be a clear winner and a clear loser, but, as time fills in the gaps, both people involved become a little of both.

Love for a person is the hardest emotion to get rid of. It's like a stain on your heart; it takes a lot of hard work and the proper solution to get it out. Time can wear it away, but it never completely goes, and that's okay. A spotless heart is not one you can really trust.

They say that the average person falls in love seven to eight times during a lifetime before finding "the one". When I was a teenager, hearing that, I thought the number seemed so epic, so unreachable. Now, at 32 years of age, I've been in love six times. Each beginning feels like the first one, but each end feels like the last, like another will never happen again.

As we get older, the opportunities are scattered and the likelihood of finding someone is lower, but, also, our standards are higher. We know what we want. The chances, when, at last, we find someone, of that person being "the one" are much higher. Take comfort in the process and hang on. Don't settle for someone who doesn't fuel your heart. Until then, love yourself, for, even when turned inward, love can be a very powerful thing.

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