Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Thoughts Like Fumes, Really

The United States has a female candidate running for the presidency, yet, amazingly, big corporations down to smaller entrepreneurs make money off of the objectification of women. More shocking is that the very skeleton of the misogynistic monster is the number of women who have been brainwashed into believing that male objectification of them is pro-feminist.

An exotic dancer once told me when I asked if she felt comfortable doing what she did, "I'm in total control of what happens when I'm doing a lap dance."

Another defense is that they make good money. I understand the sentiment. If men are dumb enough to waste lots of money on watching women shake it, why not take it?

The dancing in and of itself isn't that bad, to be honest. Women are beautiful. The female body is beautiful. Artists across centuries have known this. It's more than that, though. It's the idea that women are a commodity, an item to be bought and sold. For the right price, lads, you can have "Sparkle"'s tits in your face all night long. Or you can just keep her around for company while you get wasted, it's up to you.

Waggling tits and flapping ass cheeks aside, the idea that women can be won or bought creates a more dangerous culture. The existence of these kinds of clubs or even women musical artists or celebrities who flaunt themselves in a sexual manner contribute to a collective male consciousness that women can be seen as sex objects. An object is a thing, a thing can be manipulated and manhandled. A thing cannot protest when it's being wronged and a thing isn't asked permission to do things to it.

Let me say that my statements do not represent all men. Obviously, I'm talking about a wider, global male culture as opposed to individuals. Many more thoughtful men aren't even aware that objectification still exists for women. I had a friend say to me, "Oh, I didn't know it was still that bad." Perhaps feminism has taken a back seat in recent years. Women have gained more power in the workforce and in politics. Still, it's evident that this crude culture still exists.

Go to any nightclub or have an attractive female walk around with a hidden camera for a week. See the undressing stares, the pathetic come-ons, the horny, unwanted dry-humping on dance floors everywhere. Misogynists say that women "like the attention" or that they "ask for it" when they wear something tight or low-cut.

I go out in jeans and a regular t-shirt whenever possible and I don't act friendly. I still receive the same treatment as if I was wearing nothing larger than two postage stamps and a matchbook. I get pushed around and cut in line by big, burly guys on a regular basis, who often look back at me smugly, like, "Sorry, sweetheart, but I've got a penis, so you'll just have to wait."

Again, however, I don't blame the men. I blame the women. These so-called neo-feminists who objectify themselves to supposedly "control" men, may have had temporary mind control powers, but have since lost the war on misogyny. The parting shot at the end of the day is a scantily-clad woman with a drooling man at her feet, forking over the dollars. Who's in control? It's that chicken and egg thing, but it started with the object, the egg.

If you want your slice of the cake, you're going to need eggs. If women are to take back their sexuality, let it be on their terms, not on the terms of the man. When are we going to say, "Hey, the dick in the butt is not the proper way to say hello to someone at a dance club!"? People just accept this behaviour as normal. Oh, these guys are just horny jerks, never mind that they've just touched a woman with an erect penis (do clothes really matter in a case like this?). This is honestly the most offensive underrated encounter that occurs in the Western world. Men that get away with this sort of behaviour surely have attempted or committed date rape, a sorrowfully under reported crime. Yet, no one stands up for us and no one bans it in a club setting.

A male friend pointed out that if they banned "fockering," which is this move's technical police term, in one nightclub, it would lessen attendance. By men, perhaps. Why women? I would think it would increase female attendance because of the knowledge that they wouldn't get harassed by men. I would attend.

Women need to step out of the gold lame bikinis and uncomfortable pumps to sell themselves to the opposite sex and instead get clever. Bottom line: Sexy isn't a stereotype. A stereotype is a thing. Women: Be sexy. Be true to yourself.

1 comment:

catherine said...

Hey I have been reading your blogg! i think your rantings are is interesting, but i wonder if some of your anger is misplaced. I have had a wide variety of figure shapes and relationships over the years and couldn't find any correlation between my body and my self worth. but i do know the fear that sets in when your body doesn't listen to you and you feel out of control.

What i ment to say is judgeing other people for their looks and judging yourself in relation to them does no one justice, the more energy you feed into those thought the smaller and more diminished your temple is.

Also Be very weary of womenn as victims is easy to confuse sexuality and sexism, especially when some people with overt and coarse sexual expression can be so invasive.

I have some very good friends that are strippers, I live in Los Angeles and there is an awful lot of sex industry out here. Lot of beautiful super smart girls place their self esteem in the shape of their bodies, and come out feeling exactly the way you do right now. It is something that confuses me terribly. You don't love someone for the car they drive so why could you judge their vessel.

One of my best friends has a "fat girl mentality" She is curvey but not fat, I think she is beautiful and vastly amazing, but she is always willing to bargain for poorer treatment in exchange for attention, and she is fiercely jealous and its a little scary and therefore not attractive. not so ironicly she winds up with guys who are willing to give her attention if they can take more liberties with her and are also more likely to cheat. So basicly she is really shallow and surrounds herself with men that treat her the way she treats herself.

now I'm totally rambling. I wish for you, that you will focus on your health and not your weight, and use your body for pleasure, and your mind for understanding. And for you to walk forward and explore all things in life with the tools you are given and try to understand how things are instead of how they are not.

Do not be afraid to disappoint others to follow your own happiness. That is the hardest task i will ever learn (if i do that is)